Roasting the Loud House
by Omar5987
Summary: I love them, but they need to get roasted. Please don't leave hate comments.
1. Lincoln Loud

My boy Lincoln, your my nigga, but imma roast you.

My nigga, who the fuck did your hair! Clyde's dad wasn't lying when he said that his sideburns are uneven.

Look at you, rocking some fucking white hair, looking like your grandpa and shit.

Nigga, HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR HEAD THAT MUCH BIGGER THAN YOUR FUCKING BODY!

Boy, get some sleep, you have fucking bags under your eye's 24/7 my nigga.

Plus, all of you are dirty as shit, wearing the same god damn clothes everyday.

And where are your shoe strings at my nigga, is that Velcro straps on your shit?

Nigga, you must have gotten punched the fuck out of to have that chip in your two front teeth, and you look like a beaver.

Has anyone else saw that his eyes are bigger than his god damned ears...


	2. Lori Loud

Lori, your a bitch, so bring that ass here.

You look fucking stupid, wearing khaki shorts and a tank top.

Not to mention your wearing your MOM"S GIRDLE, you fucking dirty ass hoe.

Look at your fake ass dollar store ear rings bro, Bobby screwed you over bruh.

I don't know why you think you so hot, your boobs are as small as your nose bitch.

Why don't you cut your shit, you look like your wearing a fucking helmet instead of hair.

Dirty bitch, stop farting like that. You gonna kill us all.

Why does your eye makeup have the same color as your shoes...

Speaking of shoes, WHAT ARE THOSE! I'll let that slide because my shit kind of stupid too, but at least I wear socks.

And to top it off, LOOK AT YOUR BRICK! What the fuck type of phone is that, it has no symbol or ANYTHING!

One more thing, you look so fucking ugly in your photo's, remember the one wear Lisa was scrolling through her phone and we saw her with them dirty duck lips?


	3. Leni Loud

Girl, I'm sorry for what I'm doing to you, but I NEED TO GET YOU TOO!

Leni, your fucking stupid, I'll say it, your stupid.

Honestly, you look bomb as shit, so I'll just tell you guys dumb shit she did or said.

You don't know what hypothetical means...

YOU THOUGHT A TRASH LID WAS A HAT!

YOU GOT STUCK IN A CRIB, OR SHOULD I SAY, "BABY PRISON"!

WHEN LINCOLN TOOK THE FRIDGE AWAY, YOU POURED YOURSELF A GOOD, DELICIOUS GLASS OF AIR!

Leni: Oh, is that a surprise party? Don't worry, I won't tell me. Me: **staring at the T.V in disbelief**

YOU WALK INTO WALLS, HOW DUMB DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO TURN PARTIALLY BLIND!

WHEN LUCY TOLD YOU THERE WERE 10 OF YOU, YOU SAID, "Oh, I forgot about Marco." what the-, WHAT THE FUCK!

You know what, you guys get the point, go on to Luna.


	4. Luna Loud

Luna, lets just get this over with.

GET THE FUCKING PAPER CLIP OUT OF YOUR EAR BITCH!

GOD DAMN, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CAN FUCKING SING! You got guitar skills, I'll give you that. BUT YOUR VOICE!

Oh shit, I don't got any more for you, HEY, BERLEEZY! FINISH THIS BITCH!


	5. Luan Loud

Luan, BRING THAT ASS HERE!

I'll start with your dumb ass puns, you think you got jokes?

I HOPE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW HER EAR IS RIGHT BESIDE HER CHIN!

GIRL, PUT YOUR PONY TAIL RIGHT, NOT ONLY IS IT CURVED, BUT YOU HAVE HAIRS POKING OUT!

FUCKING ROCKING A VEGETA WIDOW'S PEAK, I'M ON YOUR HEAD!

YOUR BRACES CAN'T FIX YOUR TEETH, STOP TRYING!

YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO WEAR KNEE SOCKS!

GIRL, GET THE FLOWERS OF YOUR CLOTHE'S, YOUR NOT GETTING ANY PRETTIER!

Lets go on to Lynn.


	6. Lynn Loud

Before I start, I love all of them, this is a joke. Don't get your panties in a knot, jeez.

Why the hell do you want to wait until AFTER a game to take a shit. Isn't that a bad thing if its going to be grumbling in your stomach all day?

Wipe that smile off your face, I know your fucking constipated ass hell.

If you don't get your dirty farting ass out of here, your almost as bad as Lori.

Who did you rob for your fake ass Adidas Baselines.


	7. Lucy Loud

Lucy, I know you don't give a shit about what people say, so I don't want to hear shit from ya'll.

Dude's, I know she likes bats, but does she use echolocation? Seriously, her eyes are covered 24/7, how could she not?

Are you a fucking witch, you teleport every fucking where. Go teleport your stupid ass to a barber.

I KNOW YOUR NOT TRYING TO FLEX ON ME WITH THESE FUCKING BLACK PENNY LOAFERS!

It is never okay to have your nose the same size as your ears, bitch.

Guess who's next on the line? Lana's dirty ass.


	8. Lana Loud

This might be easy.

I want to kick the shit out of your dirty ass. All of you have such big ass heads, its so much bigger than your body.

You look like you eat Chef Boyardee Ravioli every day. Your probably still saving some in the crack of your ass.

I bet she cooks some mean ass mud pies though, probably leaving some pebbles, twigs, and dog shit in their.

I will slap you so hard, take a fucking shower sometimes.

HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX ONE IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN IN IT!

I should slap your parents as well for letting you be that dirty.


	9. Lola Loud

OK, all of this is a joke, I love the Loud sisters, but I really do hate this prissy, spoiled bitch.

I really hate her ugly ass, plastic wire tiara. I have nothing much to say about that, its just a piece of wire.

DID BOBBY GET YOU DOLLAR STORE EAR RINGS TOO! God damn, those are fucking stupid, fake ass pearls.

I KNOW SHE'S CHOKING WITH THAT TIGHT ASS FAKE PEARL NECKLACE! TAKE IT OFF, YOU ARE STUPID!

Apparently, Lincoln's family can't afford to keep their fucking house straight, but they can pay for dumb ass Lola's makeup and shit.

Speaking of which, why does every kid have something extremely pricey and they somehow don't have the money to pay for new doorknobs.

Is it just me, or does her dress make her look like a fucking octopus. I know that was stupid, but I'm just saying my mind.


	10. Lisa Loud

If this girl can literally make a heat laser robot and all that, why did she never make something for her lisp?

Seriously, what the fuck. I want to remember the last time she fucking smiled, other than when she's putting her siblings in mortal danger with her inventions.

HAVE YOU SEEN THAT UGLY ASS SMILE! YOU CAN SEE IN STUDY MUFFIN, SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S TWEAKING SO HARD! IS THERE A SUBSTANCE IN HER LAB THAT NO ONE KNOW ABOUT? SHE'S DEFINITELY ON SOME GOOD SHIT!

I know she's a mad scientist and shit, but why does she never brush her hair? Come on now, your smarter than that.

Have you her without her glasses? Those glasses are the only thing to make her distinguishable from a Peanuts character.

I REALLY CRINGE AT WHENEVER SHE TALKS ABOUT THOSE FUCKING SHIT STUDY'S!

I want to tell you something. I like this smart bitch, but I feel like she barely thinks about the safety of anyone. I know she loves her siblings and parents, but she doesn't know when she crossed the line.


	11. I can't do Lily

I don't know how to roast a baby.


	12. LOUD HOUSE THEORY

Dude's, I know people already think this, but I got some more points on it. LINCOLN IS ADOPTED! Let me explain.

The kid has white hair, and I know that your gonna say, "Stupid ass Omar, his grandpa has white hair!", and I get that. But, Albert is pretty fucking old, maybe in his late 70's, early 80's, OF COURSE HE HAS WHITE HAIR! His parents probably just made that as an excuse for Lincoln not to think so.

This is a big one, but if you look at the intro, where he's sliding down the stairs, the kids pictures are framed and everything, right. Every kid, EXCEPT LINCOLN! THAT IS ONE CRUCIAL PART IN THE FACT THAT HE IS FUCKING ADOPTED!

OK, I'm not saying this to all adopting families, but some siblings don't get along very well with that adopted one, same as his sisters to Lincoln, but even so, those kids still most likely love their adopted sibling, and the Loud sisters to Lincoln are no exception.

EVEN HIS PARENTS DON'T TREAT HIM THE SAME! THEY LEAVE HIM OUT OF THE PROTOCOL, THEY PRETTY MUCH GIVE HIS SISTERS EVERYTHING, NO QUESTION, BUT LINCOLN, EVEN IF HE ALL HE WANT'S IS A BOWL OF CEREAL, HE HAS TO WORK HIS ASS OFF TO GET IT!

THEY EVEN WRONGFULLY BLAME HIM FOR STUFF! REMEMBER THE TOILET INCIDENT! I KNOW EVERYONE GOT GROUNDED, BUT IT'S CLEAR THAT EVERYONE THINK'S HE'S TO BLAME!

AND ANOTHER THING, REMEMBER WHEN THE KIDS THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING AWAY AND RITA SAID, "..You are the best 10 things we ever had.", OR SOME SHIT, BUT SHE SAID 10! THERE'S 11! I WONDER WHO SHE FORGOT!


	13. Ronnie Anne

Right off the bat, I want to clock your bitch ass. Hear me out...

Lincoln loves the fuck out of you, and what does he get? Name calling, punching, and general toxic relationship!

I hate this fucking bitch, Nick only made her look like a person worthy of respect because...I DON'T KNOW! HOW IS SHE THE ONE WHO NEEDS SYMPATHY? I don't want to hear anyone crying for this bitch and her weak ass family.

She looks okay, I will say that, but the knee socks and booty shorts? Come on now.

I don't even know if she's tough or weak anymore, because apparently she's the strongest, toughest girl in school, but she goes being a bitch for being called a few bad names by Lincoln. Just wait for middle school, it gets worse, so just get over it!

Look, this is false to an extent, but girls should know that this is not the way to get a boy to like you: bullying him, shoving sandwiches down his ass, all that crazy shit. The only reason Lincoln dates her is because he likes her looks, he's a pussy, and he doesn't know when enough is enough.

This isn't much of a roast, its more of pointing out how horrible Ronnie is.


	14. Bobby Boo Boo Bitch

Well if it ain't this stupid ass nigga, we already mentioned him a lot in the last chapters, but now it's time to get it.

He thinks he's swagging with these two little ass hairs on his chin. Bitch, you don't have a beard, cut it off!

If you don't get your ass out of here with this old Mr. Krabs belt, I'm on your ass. Hold up...

What are those! Fake ass Adidas cleats, those are the roundest spiked cleats I have ever seen.

Old, Monkey see Monkey do head ass! You and Luan have this fake ass monkey look going on.

Stupid ass, if I was Lori, I would have rejected you before you asked!

These nut huggers you got on, you know your dick hurt in those tight ass pants.


	15. Clyde Mcbitch

Boy, you had this coming for a long time!

Bitch, you need to cut that big ass afro off your head, you are not Huey from the Boondocks!

You know he must be lonely in a love life if he's crushing on a girl that's 6 years older than him.

Nigga, you need to stop hanging out with dirty boy, I know you wear the same clothes everyday too, but you look like you give a lot of fucks for hygiene.

Why did Nick make the only noticed black character such a pussy, he is terified by every little thing, not to mention he sleeps with stuffed animals.

You old Steve Urkel, Huey Freeman, beating your meat, nerdy ass, lonely ass, bitch ass, dinner plate glasses wearing ass, falling for people 6 years older than you head ass, dirty hair head ass, girly ass little shit!


	16. Lynn Sr

Oh hell no, by the time I'm done with you, your going to need to go to the hospital to get 3rd degree burns treated!

Old, Pinocchio nose having ass! You look like you can smell every fucking thing that ever existed!

It looks like you got shit on by Charles and tried to pass it off as your hair, your big bald shitty head ass.

You look like you have trouble doing kindergarten work, you and Leni need to go back to preschool.

WHAT ARE THOSE! You look like you got bread on your feet, those look like the baguette 2's.

Nigga, have you ever heard of condoms? I'm surprised you can even fuck with your little dick having ass.


	17. Rita Loud

You already know I gotta get on her, she and the father make me so pissed!

If you don't get out of here with these damn mountain peaks on top of your head, you know some sour patch kids can climb that bitch!

I would make that joke Berleezy does with that sexy music, but this bitch ugly, no, she's fugly.

How the fuck do you feel good about yourself after kicking your own son out of the house, you need your ass whooped.

How do you feel better when you put him in a hot ass squirrel suit all day! Let me tell you, I work in a bird rescue, and my mom made me get into a bird costume and go at this convention, and it was cold as Jack Frost balls outside, but once I put the suit on, I'm sweating and feel like I'm in an oven.

Both of you parents are some retards, you let your kids destroy the house, not to mention let Lincoln rock white hair, plus you let Lucy on some demon shit, so after I whoop your ass, you need to go whoop they ass.

How the fuck do you just marry the stupidest, ugliest, boring-est character in the show. Oh, I see, it's because no one wants to be with someone who has Mt Everest on top of their head.


	18. No such luck rant

Look, believe it or not, I'm a pretty chill guy. But when I saw NSU (No Such Luck), I was pissed.

Now how the fuck is the dad scared to lose them when they forgot to lock the door, and then you kick out your own son to sleep outside. No logic in that.

Let's analyze what they're doing. They leave an 11 year old to sleep outside, which is illegal, and then they endanger and humiliate him by making him wear a squrillel suit at the beach, leading to him over heating.

If that happened to Lincoln and I saw it, we would have been throwing hands, and they would go to jail. What if Lincoln was hurt or killed?

This is what I would I have done if they did this to me.

Ok, they throw me outside, right.

I go to a window, break it, jump in, get a baseball bat, walk to everyone's room's, and beat them halfway to death.

You guys might not think being in a suit is too bad, but it was freezing cold outside when I had to put it on, but in a matter of 5 minutes, I was sweating freely and wanted to take it off, so I felt bad for Lincoln.

So the next time you see a mascot, give him a handshake and say you appreciate that bitch.


	19. Flip

I know ya'll didn't think I wasn't going to get on dirty boy over here!

Is the Loud House set in the hood, because this dude's store is worse than the corner store down the street where I live. That's a damn shame.

I bet the curtain's match the drapes, old ass nigga, and your hair looks like dirty cotton fluff, I wan't to smack your dirty ass.

I bet even Lana would be grossed out by you, why the fuck do you need to leave your dirty socks in the nacho cheese.

And you look like a pedophile, I bet there was a scene you didn't show when you made Lincoln and Clyde work for you.

I want to know how your mouth is that big and stretching away from your face, you peanut headed bastard.

You need to clean your place, clean yourself, stop looking for children, get a wife, and go to the barber, and take Lynn Sr with you too!


	20. Chandler

You guy's don't realize how much shit I can get on him for.

If you don't get your over dramatic ass out of here, literally made an intro when he walked in the cafeteria.

You look like you chew pencils for a living, get out of here.

What brand is that shirt, you look like you got a deal from good will.

Bitch, he already told you his name is Lincoln. Where did you get Larry from? If I told you my name was Omar, don't call me Mario bitch.

I want to know how you got kids to frolic in the magical land of shit, piss, and ass juice.

You look like those white boys that have a gun, hate their parents, and always keep the x box.


	21. Agnes Johnson

Hey guys, I contacted YouTube roaster Al Gritzz. She said that she would read this, so if your watching...give me a shout out on a video, just kidding, but that would be great.

But Agnes, I GOTTA ROAST YOU!

Why does your face look like that of a monkey's? I swear, Luan, Bobby, and you look like you came straight outta the jungle.

Why do your legs look like some leeks? Golly, those are the skinniest legs I ever seen in my god damn life.

Why does your belt look like that, they look like cymbal's. I outta form a band with those bitch's.

You already know she want's to be Ms. Frizzle so bad! That's why you keep a pencil for a hair accessory (thank's for giving me the idea, whoever you are).

Why is her name Mrs. Johnson, but she is crushing on the PE teacher! She's cheating! And she said that she couldn't be held in a cage for too long, is that code for freaky shit?

Why do your shoes look like turds, nasty bitch.


	22. Surprise to make you happy

I will try to make a fanfic which deals with Lincoln if he acted like I would do in all of the Loud House episodes. Basically, Lincoln will act like me.

Anyway's, I'm thinking about putting my roasts on YouTube, how bou dah? No, that girl annoys me.

But the gender bent Loud House characters are uglier than a bitch! I'll get them a little later though.


	23. Side Note (wtf)

When I type in "Loud House" on my computer, on of the suggested searches are "Loud House gay". Why, just, why? I know that people were talking about there being a gay couple, Howard and Harold, but what if your kid types in Loud House, sees that, and clicks on it. I'm not saying that you should keep your kid away from it, but why should they find out through their favorite cartoon show?


	24. Aunt Ruth

You are honestly the most disgusting thing I ever seen in my life.

Old, Jabba the Hutt looking ass bitch! You didn't say, "Help, I've fallen and I cant get up!", you were just born that way.

I also need to get on your dress! Your dress looks like vomit and pimples.

Your face looks like stomped out pig ass, and it matches your soul too.

How the fuck do you make those kids work for you, scooping cat shit and rubbing your slapped ham for feet, and expect them to eat 130 year old pudding, miss me with that bullshit.

I'm not a doctor or anything, but how the fuck do you have bunions even though all you do is sit on your ass all day.

You outta go straight to jail for forcing those kids to do that shit.

You look like the mix of a slug, Jasper from Henry Danger, and Carl from Jimmy Neutron.


	25. Chunk

When I thought about roasting this dude, I looked at him and laughed my ass off.

You look like somebody that eats beef jerky for a living.

Your nose looks like a large ass baked bean my dude.

Your vest looks like my curtains nigga!

Don't go around thinking your hard, I dare you to say the N word in the hood, you will get fucked up!

Yo ass built like a fucking cantaloupe, hold up...

WHAT ARE THOSE! Yo shit's look like negro jalapenos bitch!

Your tattoo artist did you dirty, he fucked up such a simple design, heart and crossbones.

Man, why do you have to be a grown ass man hanging out with Pixie cut my dude? Chris Savino, you made the most uninteresting show to me, I only like it's fan fiction.

You know I will get the gender bent Louds next, see you guys later!


	26. Gender Bent Louds

Loki: Oh hell no, I am extremely supportive for the LGBT community, but this dude is straight and looks GAY! Look him up on the loud house wiki or anything and look at that cat ass pose he's doing, arching that back! Rocking some damn, cargo shorts and a tank top. You look like you play Pokemon Go for a living, "Oh, I caught a bulbasaur!", looking ass bitch! You know he's on some suspect shit if he say's, "That is literally LOL.".

Loni: They managed to make Leni look even dumber than before. Why do your glasses look like some squatting ass cheeks, bitch! Rocking the god damn air potato's, and you wearing the polka dot cyan socks with them, i'm on your ass. This is what happens when you mix blonde surfer, business casual, and trending fashion, you get this ugly ass nigga, fuck out my face.

Luke: If you don't get your Slipknot wannabee ass out of here! Your faux hawk messed up your head, because the sides of your head look like it got ran over by a motorcycle, bitch! And your head large as shit boy, are you Jimmy Neutron? Nigga, your vest makes you look like a mix of Trunks from Dragon Ball, and Brad Buttowski from Kick Buttowski.

Lane: Nigga, your outfit wack as hell. Nigga, if you don't get your, "Come to Wacky Land today!", looking ass! You look like you do monkey dances for little kids, with that wack ass bowl cut, don't go to school ever again, you will get roasted worse than I'm doing you! Fuck that, get your Pinocchio looking ass out of here!

Lynn: Why do both you and your female version have these lopsided heads, my god! Glad that I didn't have to change the number on your shirt, because all you are is a 0 on the field. The only reason why you guys look good is because you haven't played against anyone from the hood, they will cross your bitch ass. Other than that, you and Lynn are the exact same shit.

Lars: Fuck you pouting for, you have it good! If you don't get your, "No one knows my pain. Even if there are homeless people and kids who are starving, I have it the worst...", face ass! I don't get you goths, I feel like it's OK, but not to the point your making your parents worried, as a matter of fact, WHY DO YOUR PARENTS LIKE YOU AS THIS WEIRD ASS MUDDA FUCKA THAT LIKES DEATH AND MISERY! With your Marilyn Manson, Bendy and the Ink Machine looking ass!

I was afraid of embarrassing myself on YouTube, so it will take me a while to get over it. If you still reading this, your my homie, and how about a Loudcest story?


	27. Gender Bent Louds 2

Leif: This dude reminds me of those kids that in the 2nd grade, they would pull their pants all the way down to use the urinal, so you could see their ass when it could've been avoided. Nigga, you are the most hillbilly person I've ever seen. You know he can play the banjo and harmonica at the same time. How do I know he's a hillbilly? Because he's wearing overalls without a shirt.

Lexx: Bro's, when I saw the episode, I expected Lexx to be a boy who dresses as a princess. Dude, you are not a prince, and you don't even look like one, you rocking the doodoo brown leather gloves and boots, fuck out my face. And can I ask a question? Why does Lola have a beauty pageant body, but she must eat cake a lot if she wanted it for dinner (bonus points for who tells me what episode that was from).

Levi: If you don't get your Dexter's Lab looking ass out of here! What is up with your guy's glasses? I can eat a buffet on those bitches. Why do your pants legs touch the soles of your shoes, you know you get mud on them hoes. It never came to my mind that these big head bastards couldn't get your shirt over your head if you tried, but his situation is worse by the fact that his lab coat doesn't have a slit for the buttons. You can't unbutton the shit, because there it's not a lab coat, it's a damn T-shirt!

Leon: Remember when I said I couldn't roast Lily. She's just too damn cute, but this baby is ugly as hell! No eyelashes, no eyebrows, he has two yellow dildo's on his head, and his teeth are not the same size! Ugly ass bitch!


	28. Mr, Grouse

If you don't get your Super Mario Bros looking ass out of here!

And I thought Flip's head was fucked, with your peanut head, fuck out my face.

Bitch, that Rolex supposed to go on your wrist, dumb ass.

And he built like a giant meatball, you can see his vest has stretch marks.

I knew he was Mario, he rocking his shoes!

His mustache looks like a komondor dog! It look like it's going to bark right now!

"My yard, my property!", dare you to say that shit to me, bitch!


	29. Rusty Spokes

Old, Joker looking ass nigga. You look like you gonna fight Batman right now.

And your acne is grossing me out, have you ever heard of Proactiv, bitch?

With your, "I'm ready, I'm ready!", Sponge bob teeth having ass.

"I sag my pants until my ass shows", looking ass. Those pants are the baggiest looking shits I've ever seen.

And your nose looks like an erect dick my nigga.

And how is one of your eyes bigger than the other, you psychotic bastard.

You know your siblings got your ass with the Fanta orange soda prank.


	30. Mick Swagger

How did I not see it before that I gotta roast you!

You and Lynn Sr have these damn erect dicks for noses.

You fake ass, Prince looking ass, Purple Rain looking ass( No, but on the real, I will miss him).

"Huh huh, rock on dudes!", looking ass nigga. How you gonna be in the music business career for 40 years and look at least 20 years old, tell me now!

The top of your head looks like gently spread ass cheeks. And I see you rocking the Elvis Presley pants.

With your lanky body ass and your mop head ass, I could clean my kitchen with your swiffer sweeper head ass.

Nah, I'm running out of good characters to roast, give me ideas.


	31. Tabby

Low key, I kind of like her. If she was real, and also 13, then I would probably ask her out and not ugly Ronnie Anne, but since they asked for it, I HAVE TO DO IT!

Look at her ear. I hate it when people get their ears pierced, but don't want to wear earrings. Not only that, FUCK IS THAT?! DID YOU PIERCE THEM WITH THE DAMN SCREWDRIVER? DO YOU GET YOUR CUTS AT A HARDWARE STORE?!

And your ass is not slick, those are not white Timberland's, those are some damn Elvis Presley's.

Your built like a damn Sonic character, and I bet you can't play shit, just hold up.

If you don't get your Puffy Amiyumi looking ass out of here! You should be in Japan right now, what the hell!

I know she can't play. I know she's Luna's friend ( Why is a 15 year old hanging with an 11 year old), but Tabby's at a fucking ballroom and not playing shit, and Luna just pulls her ax out of nowhere and shreds away. She's playing air guitar, what the-!


	32. Haiku, but not the full roast

I'll do Haiku tonight, but I'll say something right now. Her name is Haiku, but I could write a novel on her damn forehead.


	33. Haiku

No, just...NO!

If you don't get your Addams Family looking ass out of here!

You have the longest head I've ever seen in my life! Your more lopsided than LYNN'S ugly ass. Are you Mega mind?!

But should I really get on your head, or should I get on you because your belt is nearly touching your armpits!

I can kind of understand Lucy ( No I can't), but your in love with a man 200 years old! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO-no, no, I won't go that far.

Your head is shaped like a damn peanut M&M, your built like a twilight bobble head, and your just creepy inside and out.

I can't even do you anymore, I'm done.


	34. Giggles

I'm gonna go ahead and say this, your parents are retarded for calling you Giggles.

I also noticed your wack ass hat! Your heads shaped like a basketball! Juggle that shit!

I'm really gonna get on you with these damn sausages you call shoes!

You and Luan's jokes are trash! I can make on right now: Come on Giggles, don't tell me you don't get clowned at school for wearing that shit!

And your built like those weird ass wine glasses! You look like a Lorax character! Let it grow looking ass!

What motivated your parents to call you Giggles. If you were my daughter, I would change your name to Cringe, that's a more fitting name.

You look like Lane Loud's younger sister, you funny built bastard. I bet you watch Teen Titans Go!, fuck out my face.


	35. Polly Pain

If you don't know about the AustinDR situation, then you should read his story and tell him to ignore the haters and focus on how much LOVE we show for his story, Shattered Innocence. But Polly, it's been a long time coming, BUT I GOTTA ROAST YOU!

You got the damn Uncle Grandpa chin! How do anyone fuck with you, you probably do push ups while eating cereal.

Your built like a Q-tip too. I bet if you stood straight for one second, hyper active ass bitch, you would look like a lollipop. Pollypop looking ass.

You look like those kids that bang their heads against the wall for no good reason ( No offense, love you dudes), which explains the helmet.

You have the nerve to wear a P on your shirt like you got the juice, bitch, fuck out my face.

With these damn highwaters you call shorts, I'm on your head.

Sorry if my roasts are too short for your taste's, tell me if you think so and I'll improve.


	36. Why I'm deleting this story

GOT YOUR ASS! You thought I was deleting it. You Sid the Science Kid looking ass nigga. You over cooked Krabby Patty looking ass nigga. You "Tickle my pickle", looking ass nigga. You homeless Billy Nye looking ass nigga. I took a break and I will do someone else tomorrow night...looking ass nigga.


	37. Penelope

Hey, what's up my dudes? Sorry I've been gone for a while, but hey, I'm just not one of those people who does fanfiction a lot. But if I do jump back into the game, I will start with...Penelope's ugly ass ( P.S, could someone send this to Stondie, PsychoPieo, Berleezy, or Prince Ohakam? I want their opinions on this shit.)!

Penelope, what the fuck are you doing with yourself? I heard you like to take banjo classes, with your old, "Hingle-danga-dargin!", looking ass! And whoever drew you did you real fucking dirty, with that crumpled up piece of paper you call a hairstyle! AND WHAT KIND OF SHOES ARE THOSE! THEM SHIT'S LOOK LIKE SOME LEANING ASS CHURCH SHOES! THEY'RE ALREADY BENT A LITTLE BIT AT THE TOP, WHAT DID YOU DO, LET A DOG CHEW ON THEM?! **NAH, YOU PROBABLY DID THAT BULLSHIT, WHAT ARE THOSE TEETH!** ALL YOU NIGGA'S GOT SOME SHANE MCGOWAN'S!

AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR SOCKS? HOW DARE YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE WITH ONE SOCK HIGHER THAN THE OTHER! SPEAKING OF HIGH, YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR ON ACID, CRACK, AND ABOUT TO POP SOME MOLLY'S! I'M DONE WITH YOU!


	38. Maria Santiago and a kind of rant

Bitch if you of here with your "Gallick Gun!", ass widow's peak! And your not slick, we all caught you, why the fuck is your nurse cap shaped like a crown, BITCH YOU AIN'T NO QUEEN! You can't be queen when you just have a baguette hanging on the back of your head like that! It just doesn't work!

And you trying to flex on me with this fake ass Louis Vuitton purse you got on! But I ain't done about your hairstyle! That's not a hairline, that's a hair-ARCH!

I know I'm going to get backlash for not being ass funny as I was, but I think I need to address some things that people in the Loud House community are talking about, and one thing in particular, Luna being bisexual.

I don't see why people make such a big deal about it. I know some people out their like, "Auugh, Luna, my wifu how can you do this to me, ahaghgtfbfg!", and let me put one thing out there. If you keep this up, ain't one of you is getting pussy XD nah just kidding but on the real though, she is an animated character, she ain't your wifu!

And let me get this clear: some people think that the Loud House is trying to push LBBT in our faces, but I think what they are doing is letting people who feel that way about themselves not feel alone, feel normal, and they are trying to make it a normal thing. It is normal, but people always love to say that it is a bad thing to do and is a SIN!

Uggh, this is why I'm not christian: It doesn't support LGBT's, and it just doesn't seem credible to me. I don't hate christian's or anything, but yeah...

Anyway's, I just think that Luna need's to be more looked upon as a talented, high spirited young woman, not as a bisexual. I might stop this, but not because of any bad reviews or anything, but because "Roasting the Loud House", is kind of dead.

I will see you guys on my next fanfiction. Peace ( epic jump into portal)!


	39. Loud House Rant

Well, I decided I'll do more chapters, but for now, it's going to be a few more rants. And not just about the Loud House, it will have elements of the fan base and fanfiction. And I'm not asking for the show to change, I just think it's fun!

I think it's the most BITCHEST SHIT to hide from your own kids! I know what your thinking, "Oh, Omar, those kids are too crazy for them!", WHOOP THAT ASS! If they keep on letting their kids do this shit, they will grow up thinking the best way to deal with things is to go ham on somebody! AND, I'm not saying they need to do the black style beating, kind of like this...

(Timmy comes home from school). Mom: TIMMY, WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TWO F'S?! Timmy: Mom, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! (Mom gets a belt off the drawer). Timmy: NO, MOM, PLEASE, AUUUUUUUUGGGH, AAAAHHAAAAAA!

Obviously they kind of deserve that version, but I guess it could be more controlled. Also, don't read my next chapter if you don't want to read my weird fanfic request...please make it.

But anyway's, if they don't either beat they ass or do something to make that stop, they should have those kids taken away from them. It's kind of harsh, but I feel like it's not working out for them or the kids. And some people say that it's not okay to hit your kids. I think it has a limit. You should have the right to spank your kids if they did something earning it without CPS coming to your door, but don't take it to the point where they have 30 BRUISES ON THEIR FUCKING BACK!

And I think it's just straight up awful to kick your kid out of the house. It doesn't matter how good your neighborhood is, Lincoln could have been abducted, beat up, or get SICK FROM SLEEPING ON THE DIRTY ASS GROUND! But that's not the part that hurts me the most. It's that they put their own health and entertainment over the well being of their own son. That's all I have to say about NSL.

Also a reviewer asked me my opinion of the Loudcest thing. People say it's disgusting and stuff like that, and here's what I say. OK, AWESOME! YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OWN OPINION! But people take pleasure into stuff like this, and that's OK. What separate's this from rape or real incest is that, well, it's not. It's not real, and those people who enjoy it are not the sickos. It's the rapist's and all of that who are sick in the head because they actually do it.

And one more thing about that: I think it's OK if you are in that type of relationship. I DON'T AGREE WITH REAL INCEST, BUT I WONT WANT TO CALL YOU SCUM OR ANYTHING!

Ask me about more things I should rant about! And the next chapter will be a fanfiction request, and the next will be...CASAGRANDES!


	40. Zach

Hey! It's your nigga, Omar! Sorry I've been gone for a while, my fanfiction account had something wrong with it. Also, I'm going to start this off with something to tell you. A guest went into my review page and said a pretty nasty comment. Well, I'm not really feeling anything about it, but I just want to make it clear for those who can't read in between the lines...

I did NOT try to make christian's look like monsters, I don't really believe in evolution, I DEFINITELY DON'T WORSHIP THE DEVIL, and I mean no harm, but I seriously doubt that any deity is up their going to send me to hell. And if you must know, I'm believe in the teachings of the Buddha. Black Buddhist :)

ARE YOU READY! LET'S GET IT!

ZACH! I GOTTA ROAST YOU! "Mr. Peabody?! MR. PEABODY?! WHERE ARE YOU?!", old Sherman face ass! Old Spongebob teeth having ass! Don't think I don't see them f-f-f-fooboodoo flux your wearing on your feet! Hold on *looks up at his hair*..., WHAT IS THAT?! DO YOU GUYS SEE THIS, THIS, BUFFOONERY! You got yourself looking like Lil Yachty's evil minion!

I bet that circus you live next too is getting too you, because you look straight, up, GOOFY MY NIGGA! You look like you sell Jack O Lanterns for a living!

I know, I know, I have to do the Casagrande's, but that will wait because one: I got half of them done, and two: I'm lazy :/

Uhhmmmm, see ya next time!...


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